I’m annoyed

February 20, 2007 at 8:21 pm Leave a comment

I made sure I made the call to my gp surgery today to see if they would be very kind and do the other screening tests I need for my egg donation. I initially went for a chat a few months ago when we thought I needed a letter of referral and they surprised me by happily doing a blood form, but as it was a surprise I could only reel off the tests I could remember at the time, meaning when we later looked at the list most were covered but karyotyping, cystic fibrosis and a swab still needed to be done.

As we found these were the most expensive tests I thought it was definitely worth a try to see if they would help again thus saving dg some much needed pennies. On the phone I was told I needed to come in to chat about it. Fair enough. They’d said this the first time about the referral letter and it only turned out to be a 2 minute appointment. The surgery is a half hour walk though and with two little people in tow I was very pleased when dh said he could be home in time to give me a lift.

I was called in to my appointment to be greeted by a new female GP I’ve not met before. I explained the situation and in two seconds she turned me down flat. For anyone not reading this in the UK you might not be entirely aware of how much a postcode lottery IVF treatment is here. The amount of treatment cycles you are entitled to varies from county to county, ranging from 3 to none. And, no matter where you live the answer is none if either member of a couple has a child. So my tests for somebody else to undertake treatment privately were a no apparently.

I didn’t realise I was annoyed until afterwards to be honest. When she realised the treatment wasn’t happening on an NHS cycle she looked at me as though I’d come in saying I was having a boob job and could I have some free tests please!

I think it bugged me more, because if our little miracle lady hadn’t arrived when she did, we knew we were unable to have the required IVF/ICSI treatment funded because we already had a child. Fair enough we were blessed, but until you are in that situation you don’t know the pain. For anyone suffering infertility in any form it hurts, and it hurts like hell. And thats whether you have never fallen pregnant at all, whether you have and then gone on to miscarry a child, or whether a second or third child is more difficult to conceive. I sometimes feel that people feel their situation is the most painful. As if someone who already has a child is greedy and doesn’t have the right to feel a loss when they can’t carry a baby again.

I know for me in some ways I felt it hurt more. It hurt because I knew what I was missing. I knew what it felt like to have a child grow inside me, and blindly assumed it would happen again, so to be told I would never have that again, I wished so hard I had appreciated every second of pregnancy more. Even the crappy bits!

dg posted this on her blog and it certainly fits.

Getting to know more people affected by infertility I’ve come to realise no-one’s situation really hurts any more or less, it just hurts different. I’ve gone off on a tangent though. The point of this post… NHS and mrs snotty doctor, I’m annoyed!


Entry filed under: egg donation, egg donor.

One of those weeks Another day, another post

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