Bloody hell!

Excuse the language please but, considering I have only taken 4 days of stims with my total intake of puregon being only 600 iu how many follicles do you think they found on my scan…

wait for it…

32 !!

(plus possibly a few little ones hiding)

Yep, you read that right. Twelve on the left, 20 on the right with a range between 10 and 14mm.

As fantastic as the prospect of many many eggs is, the clinic are of course concerned about hyper-stimulation. So far I am feeling well and not particularly bloated (up until this evening typically!). They have dropped my dosage to 100iu to rescan on Friday, when they may drop it even further, or even stop it all together and allow the follicles to ‘coast’ for a few days on their own.

Worst case scenario (other than me ending up in hospital) is that the cycle has to be abandoned. Of course, this is the the scenario we are both imagining and worrying about but at this stage they are still confident there is a good chance they can monitor me closely and complete the cycle with a good healthy set of eggs. I have to keep an eye on symptoms, with anything too drastic meaning I have to give them a ring.

So Friday is going to be quite a critical scan. Egg collection could even end up being as early as Monday! But a better outcome will keep us with the original date of Wednesday. We will have both my monsters in tow instead of just the little one as its not a nursery day so things could get interesting anyway.

I’ve just eaten a big tea so now I definitely feel like I’m going to explode. I’m off to the sofa for a lie down before I pop

belated update

Well as DG wrote, I have been away. Visiting family over the bank holiday weekend again, and again forgot to take my password for wordpress with me! Not sure I would have had the chance to get anything on here even I had though.

Where do I start then? Well, as I wrote we took our last pill Sunday 29th, and went for our baseline scans Wednesday 2nd May. Neither of us had any bleeding at this point and we were a little concerned this would have a knock-on effect on all our treatment dates.

My scan was first. Everything looking as it should. My lining was very thin but, would be unlikely to build whatever the situation as this is the main effect of having the coil fitted. Both ovaries showed some small follicles ready to develop without looking too hard for them. This has again led them to think I will produce a lot of eggs.

Next up was DG. Her first chance to wear a sexy paper toga! Her lining was thicker than they were happy to start with, but they saw no reason why she wouldn’t start to have a small bleed pretty imminently so booked another scan in for Friday 4th in the hope things would be ready then.

The the drugs came out. A cute little lime green rucksack-full which little E immediately had her eye on. We went through everything step by step, and I tried to listen even though I could feel my stomach turning and my face getting hot. With both dg regularly taking her bloodthinners, and another close friend recently gone through ivf herself I had convinced myself this was something I could face (or I wouldn’t have made the offer in the first place). So, I took in all the information I could to make things easier when the time came.

The nurse left us to discuss the treatment and drug options with MrR, and returned with their decision. If DG, bled in the next 24 hours or so, chances were that the scan would show us fine to start injections on the Friday as planned. And, as they expected me to react very well to stimulation they saw no reason why this would effect the dates we had already planned around. They want to scan me slightly earlier than normal. After 5 days of stims instead of 7. This means the scan tomorrow (Wednesday 9th) still stands.

My drugs are – Suprecur 0.3 ml subcutaneous injections daily (from Fri 4th) and for Stimulation, 150 iu of Puregon daily by subcutaneous injection pen. This is the lowest amount of stimulation they prescribe, and will be reviewed later if they feel it is necessary.

All went well the next day when I woke to a little spotting. As I knew DG had been on exactly the same drugs for the same amount of time there was a good chance she would also start spotting. And, later in the day I was right. Neither of us recalls being so happy over a bit of blood in someone’s knickers!

Her scan the next day meant the first time she had been to the clinic alone. Felt a bit odd for the pair of us I think. Her lining was thinning but wasn’t quite at a level for them to give her the green light on starting her estrogen tablets. They decided I could still start injections that night as planned, and DG would start her tablets Sunday night.

All systems go!

Packing the car to visit family, I repeatedly made sure all my drugs were in the car as I knew DH wouldn’t be impressed if made to drive several hours back down the motorway.

That night at 8 o’clock I started to prepare everything. I was confident I could do what was needed. Charged my puregon pen and dialled up the dose, put my suprecur syringe together and drew up the correct dose. DH and brother-in-law were putting the kids to bed, and all other family members were at the cinema, so I had a few moments of peace to get things done.

I grabbed an inch or two at my middle, held the needle in my hand, and … nothing. My hand wouldn’t move any nearer to my belly. I thought ‘this is daft’ so tried again and just couldn’t do it. I could feel the anxiety starting to rise so put the needle cap back on, put the syringe to one side and waited for dh to come down and give me a bit of support.

He came downstairs, saw I hadn’t got anywhere, so gave me a hug and asked if I was ready to try again. At this point I still wanted to try myself. But, it still wasn’t happening. That was when the tears first started. Only a little, but I was upset I couldn’t do something so simple that HAD to be done. We put the needle down again, and went and made a cup of tea. On return DH offered to give it a try, but each time he tried I would stop him and check something, and twice when he was just moving the needle around to look at it while I explained exactly what he had to do I flinched. And then I really burst into tears. It was full on sobbing time.

I knew I had a problem with needles before any of this started. I have got better over the years, and can go get a blood test on my own without too many nail marks in furniture or threatening to punch anyone. And to DG reading this, don’t worry, I’m a big girl and knew what I was agreeing to, and whatever the outcome I know it is all absolutely worth it. I’m writing this all here so if someone else finds themself in the same situation they know they are not alone. You can get over it, as I’ll explain in a moment but not everybody finds this side of things easy, and its something you need to address if thats the case.

Anyway, back to Friday night. With the kids in bed we decided to drive round Chester looking for a chemist still open to get some EMLA cream (local anaesthetic, or ‘magic’ cream). At this point I wasn’t even sure that would make a difference but it gave us something constructive to do. We first arrived in Sainsbury’s. I was so upset I couldn’t even get the words out. So, when DH asked for me, and the pharmacist replied they had none in stock, I burst into tears again. Yes I truly felt stupid then, crying in the middle of Sainsbury’s! Thankfully she didn’t think I was daft at all as she dislikes needles herself and offered to ring round other chemists to see who had some in stock.

So, off to Asda we go. The guy behind the counter there didn’t actually seem to have a clue what he was talking about but, he had a small tube of EMLA so i didn’t care. He didn’t have the clear dressings that go with it though (in fact he tried to give me some wadding to cover it up that would have just soaked it all up!) so we traipsed round the aisles to find some clingfilm and medical tape. With magic cream in hand, we then also went to find some chocolate and peruse barbecue to take my mind off things.

In the car park outside I slapped on the cream and made my makeshift dressing. It was now 9.15pm , and the cream had to be on for at least an hour. I hadn’t intended for my injections to be quite so late but wer’e a pair of night owls so it wasn’t too much of an issue.

10.15pm we went and hid in sister-in-law’s kitchen. Initially I tried again myself, but wasn’t convinced the area was numb. I could even face slightly pricking the skin to check so DH offered to get a fork. Followed by two minutes of stomach stabbing with said fork! It worked though and I was convince of my stomach’s numbness. Took some deep breaths, and went for dh doing the injections while I held the ‘inch’ i wanted stabbing and looked the other way. The first words that came out of my mouth once the needle had gone in here ‘It didn’t hurt!’. The puregon pen after was equally successful, even though that did still sting after. We had done it!

The following night we had a new challenge. Out for a meal in a large packed restaurant! At nine, I disappeared to the loo to do my cream, and at 10 we snuck off to a thankfully fairly secluded bar area. We got on with things much quicker this time. Best way to do it I think. I definitely stress more over time. Various staff members were giving us funny looks and then pretended they hadn’t seen anything as we walked back to out table. I don’t think they liked to ask! lol. I still felt a little shaky, but we held hands under the table and continued our meal.

DH has repeatedly told me how proud he is of me. Initially sounding like he was congratulating a small child but I know he is sincere. I know when I first explained to him my issues when we first met he didn’t realise how severe it was until he saw things first hand. So being one of the few people that has seen me that upset he knows what a big deal this is for me to do. (Promise its definitely worth it though DG!)

The third night and again things went smoothly. This time we went for a new location. A service station ont he way home, with both little monsters looking on! As T has recently had his school booster jabs he didn’t even ask what I was having an injection for and offered me a strawberry chewit afterwards for being a good brave girl! He got a big hug for that one!

That brings me to the final set of jabs last night. Not so great but again we got through it. I didn’t feel my stomach felt as numb as before but could deal with that. The main issue was that the puregon pen didn’t have enough in the cartridge to finish the dose, so we had to stop, change the cartridge and needle, and do a third jab. I have a time limit to holding back the panic so the added time didn’t help things, and the extra soreness after didn’t cheer me up either. It was done though, another day down! I even momentarily considered a chart on the wall to cross off days. But, I know each jab is one step closer.

So now we just wait until tomorrow and see what my follicles are up to. On the upside I haven’t turned into a raging hormonal monster yet, or a big bloater. I’m sure that fun is yet to come!

The last pill

Yes, we’ve both taken our last birth control pill. It felt like a historic moment popping the last one out of the pack. I’ve been more than a bit poorly with some kind of tummy bug over the last day or so, so I think the main thing on my mind was making sure I kept it down long enough to get in my system!

Better to be sick now though than in a few days time. That really would be harsh. Wednesday has, of course, turned out to be a really busy day in general. DG and I have to get T to nursery, then travel to the clinic and back with E for our scans and to sort out our drugs, then back in time to pick up T, get him home and changed to take him back out for Taekwondo. He’s been going 4 weeks now, and is the youngest and smallest there, very easily distracted by things around him when he should maybe be listening but he loves it. Then an hour later we have a local Police and Community meeting from 7-9 which dh will have to go to by himself while I feed the kids and get them into bed. Then, and only then, when he returns can we try and find a moment of peace to tackle those first injections.

After lots of umming and ahhing, dh’s employer have decided the two days he is taking off to look after me cannot be compassionate leave, he has to use his leave days. Their reason? Because this is a planned procedure. By their own admission, if he had rung up on the day of EC and said, ‘Sorry, I can’t come into work, my wife is going into hospital for the day and I need to look after her’, they would have given himt he day off without question. Because we have tried to be helpful and keep them informed they don’t want to know. It also came up that this only counts if I am ill, by their understanding there is no provision for him to take leave if one of our children has an accident or is ill! Hmmm, this is a very very large employer in the UK who claim to be supportive and family friendly. I disagree.

Happy birthday DG!

OK, Well it was yesterday so this is belated, but Happy Birthday Drowned Girl! Yes, the old lady turned 42. I know you’re not meant to tell a lady’s age, but I know the info’s already out there and she won’t mind.

the countdown

There’s nothing much new to report. This post is purely brought on by the fact that today marks only 7 days left on the pill. I’m sure when things get going it will still seem like only 2 minutes ago we started this journey.

So… 7 days til we stop the pill, 10 days til baseline scans and injections begin and approx 22 days til Egg collection. hmmm maybe I should get some tickers…

A side project

As my lovely readers know, I’m currently at the start of an egg donation cycle. Living in the UK this is an altruistic cycle donating to a good friend to help her complete her family.

As all good 21st Century women do, we have found a lot of our information, throughout the process, by looking on the internet. For more personal views and insights you can’t go far wrong with blogs. There are various blog directories on infertility, ivf and miscarriage, but so far I have found none on egg donation, and so, I have come to put this to rights!

I intend the blog to be a constant work in progress, improving and uploading links to blogs and news stories relevant to egg donation. Its a little bit bare at present as I’ve just started but I’m getting there, and you’ll find there are already a few interesting news stories and new blogs I found today.

Sadly, I am not omnipresent so if you come across something that could perhaps live here happily amongst the information we already have, don’t be shy, send it to me!As I’d like this to be a community site in a way, the more people on board, reading and sening in links, the better the directory will become. So please, anyone who’s happy to add the directory to your blogroll for others to see, please do so, or even better mention it in a post and send others along.

Lets hope this is successful so when others find themselves facing this huge journey they won’t be alone. Here’s the link -  http://eggdonation.wordpress.com/

Strange way to get pregnant

We seem to be stuck in limbo again at the moment, or at least the days feel very l0ng. Looking at the calendar, in less than a month all my part in this will be over in a sense. In 15 days we have our baseline scans and I start those dreaded jabs (really sick at the thought now!) and then around 12 days later its egg collection day.

My point in the title though is that right now we are both steadily working our way through a pack of birth control pills, and it has struck me on occasion how ironic that is. At the moment I have a coil fitted, a husband who has had the snip and I’m on the pill! Its pretty obvious I’m not after a pregnancy of my own at any point in the future but I couldn’t be wishing any harder that this works for DG.

A belated update

Well a week late here I am. Hopefully everyone’s been kept up to date reading dg’s blog. After our appointment on Thursday we went away for Easter weekend to dh’s family. As his sister has a pc with internet access I thought, no problem, I can log on and write up everything there. Silly me! WordPress password is not usual password, it was a computer generated one given to me on sign up. One of those haphazard mixtures of numbers and letters, unremembered by me and only saved on email at home! So we get home yesterday and lo and behold I get struck down by some 24 hour tummy bug that has me rushing to the loo well before the computer keyboard!

Better late than never I guess. Not sure I have much to add to dg’s update. With my sexy paper skirt and dildocam session over and done with, all ovaries present and correct, we went upstairs to sort paperwork, drugs and dates. Nurse K is lovely and helped us work through the mountain of forms that needed filling in and signing. She then gave a very quick show and tell on the needles I’ll be using. Not sure I heard a great deal of what she said really, I know the drill and guess I will deal with it when the time comes but its still put it to the back of my mind time for now.

When we heard we would be starting the birth control pills that day the excitement definitely started to build. On them until the 29th, then a few days off before the baseline scan and starting drugs May 2nd! DG let out random squeals of excitement throughout the afternoon, this is really it!

It did finish of the day beautifully to be able to walk to the high street in the sunshine and enjoy a grown up lunch. I honestly can’t remember the last time I had a girly lunch. We scared the Italian waiters discussing things like childbirth loudly and closely comparing hair colour across the table. One glass of wine and we were well away (it was a very late lunch and neither of us had a chance to eat earlier in our defence)

Which pretty much brings me up to date as there isn’t much new news. I’ve reacted to the bcp with morning sickness type nausea which hasn’t been great. To be honest I really wasn’t expecting any side effects until we started the inject-able drugs, so when only 2 hours after taking my first pill I felt unable to eat anything for almost 24 hours I was quite surprised. It has eased to a more bearable level though, and as I’ve said from the start its not exactly the biggest price to pay if everything works.

We’re truly on our way!

Oh wow!

I may be being dim and unable just to work out how to comment on this blog. But oh my H! Congratulations! I couldn’t be more happy for you. Lets just hope everything runs a little more smoothly from now on. Keep growing well little one!

Bless my dh

He has managed to take Thursday off work. Off his own back he offered to see if he could, and the man with the rota he say yes!

I try to never volunteer him to help out with any of the appointments as, as supportive as he is, it was my decision to help DG, and logistically its a much bigger deal for him to get time off work anyway. The only day I have asked asked him to get is egg collection day. As I’m very bad with medical things and don’t always react well to any form of anaesthesia (I get a bit on the weepy side). He has supported me through a few medical things over the years, and knows issues like getting the cannula out of my hand before i’m too aware they are there (capable of getting them out himself if necessary) and knows my weepyness is usually just a mixture of reaction to drugs and relief things are over so will know not to be too worried but just give me a hug. DG will be there with worries of her own about everything so DH being there knowing whats going on with me should help in that way too. Anyway, he’s spoken to work and they’ve been very understanding, and he said he’s told them he’ll be needing to take TWO days off in case I’m a bit sore the next day to be looking after the monsters alone. I told you he was a sweety!

So … back to Thursday. Not sure what the plan is yet but think he may stay at home with the kids. The scan isn’t such an issue as my little man loves to watch things like that. Its more the nurse consult. There’s going to be a lot of information being thrown around and I’m sure both DG and I want to make sure we’ve asked every question possible, so not having to contain a 4 yr old and 1 yr old will make all the difference. So thank you sweetheart!